It can be so hard to change….
All of my life I have been one thing above all others: an artist. I paint, I draw, I photograph, I design. I spent many years designing dresses, then my home, wardrobe, offices, gardens, gates, even food for my children’s lunches. Being an artist defined me. It was who I was, who I am, who I will always be.
A few years ago, I started to feel a shift happening internally. I was restless and I wanted something else. I couldn’t explain it, but I knew it was time for the new. But even knowing makes it hard to act. I tried to stay put in the life I’d set up for myself, but I felt like my skin just didn’t fit quite right. Have you ever felt like that?
I didn’t quite know what to do or even how to figure it out. Was this a mid-life crisis? I’d heard of other people having those, but I couldn’t stand the idea of having one myself.
I spent a lot of time thinking and not thinking—meditating, reading and ultimately allowing myself the freedom to daydream on this single question: What did I want to do? Finally one night while I was in bed, it came to me. I suddenly knew the answer. I wanted to go back to school, become certified in nutrition and teach people how to nourish their body with healthy food. Exactly what shape this would take was not clear, but I felt the fire.
I have always loved food and knew first hand about its healing properties. I was so excited about this new direction. It was exactly what I was looking for. I knew it my heart and my soul and my brain and my feet and my blood. But how do you tell the world you’re not continuing on a path you’ve been on your entire life? The one that holds your very identity?
I was knee-knockingly terrified. Seriously. When I began admitting my “secret” to people, my body actually quaked with the fear of how they would react. And not every conversation went well either. There were a lot of long silences, some strange looks, a lot “Why’s?” and “Are you sure’s?” But some people—the ones who knew me best—simply smiled and nodded. To them, it just made so much sense.
It’s been a few years since I began my new life’s work, and I have not regretted it even once. Sure, I absolutely get scared sometimes because it’s still uncharted territory for me. Fears creep up, like … I won’t be as successful now as I was in my days of designing, or that I will never learn enough, or that I’m from a generation who can’t master technology so I shouldn’t even consider an online business. But the beauty of having lived a lot of years is that I know all of this is inside my head and that I get to make the choice to create the world I want. It’s not always easy to remember, but I know for sure that it is true.
So I ask you today to check in with yourself and see if there is something you truly want. Is there a change you’ve been aching to make? And if so, what’s holding you back? I’d love to hear in the comments below.
This is your real life. Own it.
And if you need help getting there, reach out. Because life is just so much more beautiful when you’re excited about living it.